chapter 2 - GRENADE-(GRI-NA-DE)

NOW……………I want to explain the meaning of the word I have jus dropped above. by looking at the word one would pronounce it “in the Bruno mars way” grenade but my definition comes from my MachetE dic. fo the maims or heifers u come across and u don want to have that second glance with, the heifers you look at and you find your self making those faces like u dropping a dump know what I'm saying; the heifers who are plain shady, the heifers who rock that nasty, shiny, stiff, mirror looking horse hair, they call weaves, the heifers who have no tabia always portraying some shady ass stunts, yes!; the heifers I call GRINADE!!!!! (shoutED in a German accent)
now about 4 weeks ago (I think) I came across one such grinade!! I was out with my boy, a very close pal of his a (yellow yellow) and some chips okota of mine. we had gone to some posh joint on the outskirts of beautiful Nairobi. I tell you this place made me feel like a king; from the ambient surrounding , the location, the cars parked and the people; especially the people.
so as we walked in, all we; rather all I could see were those":
Hot Thick and Cashed out ;
Nairobi mamiz, I'm sure u constantly hia about and would probably want to “wife”; commonly they go by the name SUGAR MUMZ but in MachetE’s dic.I call em
H.T.C’S
yes my friends htcs reason being they are what the name is; hot, thick- n I mean fanta bottle thick and have damn money. so when we entered the joint I was expecting to grab a few HTC’S for myself after all who wouldn’t want such I mean think about it; no more bills, shopping on the house, expensive cars, never ending parteyz; among a few things on the list…..and its not gold digging ,more like MachetE sharpening the blade; (a break). so anyways as soon as we entered my MachetE sense picked up on a lot of hot htcz in the room all for but this one , grinade!!!! who was seated in the randomest of corners in the joint, as in the htcg was in some booth at the corner near the toilet not that the toilets were smely, but I mean; MachetE donslice that way. so me, my boy, yellow yellow and my chips okota found a booth adjacent to this ka grinade!!! (HTCG)
Now I quickly realized the joint was full of some fine asS HTC’S and machete wasted no time in plotting a machete massacre map……I had timed this hot one by the bar counter, then the next one was outside smoking and the third was seated a table behind me so I was good to g0o!………and jus when I was about to pounce I realized there was a theme going on @ the joint ; “alaaa !!! kube its karioke night!” as the htc behind me shouted. I was like this is even better for my slice plan for machete gon kill with the voice. I wasted no time I got up on the mike and sung one hot one…this as u can imagine got the attention of the HTC’s I was feeling like M.J back in his negro days…..so I pulled a few wohooos!!! and ahaZ!!!! u know some M.J ish…….n that’s where everything took a turn for the worst machete could sense his blade was about to get de-blunted
it first started with my chips okota feeling she had been promoted sijui by who to wife level, by coming UP on stage to mark her territory (nkt!!)…………machete was flabbergasted n realised I had to hepa this okota otherwise HTC’s would hepa machete. so I quickly pulled a fast moonwalk off the stage not realizing my trajectory I found my self right at the table of thE grinade!!! who was already mesmerized by machetes charm on the stage; so machete thought to himself
WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN
(that line has gotten me in shit b4)
so I positioned my self next to her strategically so as to evade my mwadhara chips okota. I tell u this so called “HTC” call her HTCG was a gurudumu beyond machetes wildest slices, I mean her face looked like a coloring book , I mean, machete don hate but; she had 6 different types of make up colors scribbled across her face, 6 different hairstyles having a territorial war on her scalp, 6 diff color attires on her body and 6 different ringtones for her six gurudumu htcg palls who she later called. I tell u machete never seen such before I was unable………..but I decided to look on the shaper edge; machete gon slice the all you can eat buffet in half.
so we started talkin………….
……………………6 hours later…………….
machete finds himself awake on a bathroom floor, his head feeling like it was sliced 6 times. had nothing on but his boxer and as he straggled (staggering) to get up and look in the mirror, he realized he had 6 different types of lipstick shades all over his face ”eishhhhh!!!!!” he thought, furthermore, he notice the same six shades all over his body;and I mean all over. so machete is thinkin “wtf!!!!”……………….. so machete decides to investigate. he steps out the bathroom and quickly realizes he's in some posh condo; and blacked out on the sofa are 5- get this: HTCG’s “OMG!!!!- what di I slice” n in that moment HTCG NO 6 arose from the same bathroom as machete and exclaimed “u sure know how to slice em honey!!!!!! , last night was foxy”

_______MAHETE GOT GRENADED=========X DEAD